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Thursday, May 27, 2004

Volvo PGA

Today is the start of the Volvo PGA championship at at Wentworth. If you want to see the live up to date leader board then click here, My golfing hero, Nick Faldo is playing and currently 2 under, though I don't expect it'll stay that way, but it would be nice to see him win something again.

Give the dog a bone

My dog's really pissed off with this. Eurocrapiness at its best! Butchers can no longer give the dog a bone. Butchers across the UK are to be banned from giving left-over bones to customers' dogs.
Under new EU rules bones are classed as a waste by-product and butchers must pay for them to be incinerated, says The Sun.
Britain's 10,000 butchers are being sent letters by local councils warning them they face fines if they pass left-over bones to pet-owners in the traditional way. Butchers in Cardigan, West Wales, are the first to get the warnings. Aled Morgan from Aberystwyth, said: "I just don't see where the EU is coming from."It's going to cost at least £2,000 a year to dispose of fat and bones."
The Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs has confirmed the bone ban. A spokesman said: "If the bone is waste or for pet food then it's a by-product and cannot be passed to the public. "It must be properly disposed of in line with regulations. Customers can take bones when they buy deboned meat if it is for human consumption."

What a load of bollocks, we've been getting bones of the butchers for years. Does this mean that dogs are no longer be able to have a bone, if all by-products must be destroyed you won't even be able to buy one.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Telemarketing tips

Further to Grocer Jacks post regarding 'cold call bird' I thought that I would add a few guidlines for those of you who get caught out when picking up the phone only to be confronted with cold call bird:
Personally I usually get 2 types of sales call which usually start with " can I speak to the person who deals with your health insurance?"
At this point I usually claim there's no point as I'm HIV+ (untrue) or that I have a severe neuro condition (true) at which point they hang up.
The other is water coolers, would I like a free trial for 1 month.
"how much water do I get for 1 month?" - 76 litres - how the frig do you expect me to drink 76 litres of water on my own?

Here's a guide which should cover all other types of cold call:

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could do with some money.
2. If they start out with "How are you today? say, "why do you want to know!" alternatively, you can tell them,"I'm so glad you asked, because no one else seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my gums are bleeding and I've just buried my mother....." if they try to get to the sell just tell them about your piles.
3. If they say my name is Jane Sackofshite from the whomygoolie company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them questions about their company or the weather where they are until they hang up.
4. This one works best in Jacks scenario: when cold call bird says "hi my names judy, can I just have a moment of your time" you wait for a second and then with a real husky voice ask " what are you wearing?"
5. Cry out "judy! is that you? oh my god how have you been, it's been so long!" hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to work out where she could know you from.
6. Tell them that you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up, ask them to repeat every question - several times - each time saying Louder... louder..louder!
7. One of the best ones is to ask them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD DOWN.
8. And finally, again if it's a girl tell her "Ok I will listen but I should tell you that I'm not wearing any clothes..........apart from these black fishnet hold ups and a cute little thong in cherry pink and.....Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Where will it all end?

I think last night's TV hit an all time low with Hells Kitchen with Gordon Ramsey's frenetically hurling abuse at anyone within ear shot and as for the racist snides at the head waiter (well he is Belgian) If I'd been him I'd have decked Ramsey. Remember these supposedly 'A' list celebs are volunteers (apart from the fact that their agents have forcefully contracted them to do it for some obscene amount of filthy lucre - so they can't walk out). And as for 'A' list celebs apart from Belinda Carlisle who used to be a singer and Amanda Barrie who used to be in Coronation street and is currently playing a living corpse in Bad Girls (without the need for make up) who the hell are the rest? I've never heard of them.

Then we were treated to 30 minutes of drivell courtesy of 'Poor little rich Girls' where a 20 year old page 3 bimbo (I'm a glamour model - which is an euphemism for getting you tits out) who earns £2000 a day swops life for 2 weeks with a fat scouser who earns £200 per week as a haidresser. The Bimbo has to live in a council house in Liverpool with the hairdresser's family and work in a salon doing pensioners blue rinses. Meanwhile the scouser is living the life of reilley in Belgravia and can't wait to get her kit off for the cameras. Unfortunately she has neither the figure or the looks for this but for TV's sake someone is paying her a fortune (she can afford £200 for a bottle of vodka whilst clubbing) and I don't think it's the glamour shots company. And before any of you say why didn't I turn over, I'd already seen the news 3 times that evening, there was even worse trash on and besides I wanted to see the fat bird get her tits out!

Whilst the above was courtsey of ITV the sentiment applies to all channels and can I suggest that you read this letter from Toms Blog for Saturday 22rd May to the BBC. It sums up all!

Monday, May 24, 2004

It's Just not the same

I see Napster has been relaunched legally and you can now download your favourite album for £9.95 and there are claims that this will hit the retail sector through the record stores with a downturn in sales of upto 30 %
This is a shame. It was part of my early teenage school years, meeting your mates in town on a Saturday morning and hanging around inside record stores, spending hours flipping through vinyl album covers, listening to favourite tracks in those telephone type booths or trying to get the thick girl with the blonde bouffant hair and chewing gum unknowingly to play a track with obscene lyrics over the shops PA speakers. Just looking at the album sleeves was a real pleasure especially if they were a bit risque - Jimi Hendrix, Electric Ladyland with 36 nudes on the inside cover - even if you couldn't afford to buy it. It was then on to the local Wimpey bar to see how long we could make a cup of coffee last before being thrown out.
For £9.95 all you get from Napster is a download which you then copy to a CDR or MP3, what you don't get is that all important album cover, with the track titles and credits and often a pullout booklet with the lyrics printed on. I don't get this, for the same money you can order the original CD online or even buy it in you local supermarket if it's in the top 20 and being an original pressing the quality's got to be better than a download. Am I missing the point?

Morrissey - The final Post

Well I have actually got to knuckle down to some work over the next couple of weeks. I have to design, edit and publish a new brochure on Anomaly Detection in security for the DTI and submit my proposals for the Knowledge Transfer first call. The latter basically means that I get my contract extended for another couple of years if my proposals are accepted ,if not then it's creek street, so posts over the next couple of weeks may be erratic.

Friday night is my favorite night for TV, basically because its the only night that there's anything worth turning on for. Habit for the past 35 years has me watching Top of the Pops, which I still watch just to moan about the miming and lack of decent guitar bands and artists who can actually play an instrument - though that is fast changing with excellent bands such as Maroon 5, Muse, Rasmus and Franz Ferdinand. Anyway TOTP is followed by another of my favorites - My Family, then Have I Got News For You and then The Jonathan Ross show, who often has great guests (although last week we had to endure Morrissey, but made up for it this week with Carol Vorderman)
So after JR I was really looking forward to the return of Later with Jools Holland, and the show opened with the first artist - Morrissey! AAARGH! Even the prospect of former Squeeze member Glen Tilbrook doing a session couldn't stop me from hitting the remote and changing to a late night film. Anyway I see Morrissey's new release which last week went straight in at no.3 has dropped to no.18 this week. That's the problem of only having 7 friends - there are only so many copies they can buy - cynical, Moi?

Sunday, May 23, 2004

A good weekend

I really enjoyed my round of golf on Saturday Morning, unfortunately I only got to play 9 holes as my 6.30 alarm didn't go off. The first time in 5 years I have ever missed a Tee time. I awoke looked at the clock - 7.45- tee time 8.00am distance to golf club 20 mins + sht, shower and shave = phone call to pro shop, tell my 4 ball they,ll be a 3 ball until the 10th. Anyway I had a good 9, and it was the first this year without waterproof's and in short sleeves, in this country anyway.
We attended the Rotary Pledge auction last night held at the corn exchange, which was a well attended do and raised £4000 for the Local Primary school. Well done to Rotary and especially Norman who ran the show seamlessly and Judith who looked fantastic as the autionier's secretary! However some of the lots pledged were definitely on the ify side.
Today has been excellent weather wise, Belinda left early (7.30) to go riding so I had a lie in with the only duty of going to the supermarket to get veg and cook Sunday luncblindnda due home around 2.00pm. No problem, prepare joint, par boil potatoes for the roasties, slam in the joint timed to be ready for 2.15 nip to supermarket for 12.00, get veg (5 mins to steam) = 1 hour in pub and a few pints of guinness and time to get home to put in the roasties -yeah right.
12.10 whilst in supermarket, call on mobile, horse has thrown shoe- will be home at 1.00 -shit! Well not so bad really, as I the weather was so good I went straight home, opened a bottle of red and sat on the patio and read the papers - and saved myself £20.00 - got shit faced after an excellent lunch and still managed to read all the papers. Did I mention the FA cup final- no I didn't think I did!

Friday, May 21, 2004

The old ones are the best

Local comment - All Change

After an extraordinary meeting of the town council last night we have a new Mayor! Due to a spoilt ballot paper at the last council election the result was declared null and void, and so a new candidate Roger Ballard, was put forward and declared mayor after winning the election against Mansil. This is most unfortunate for Mansil,who was declared mayor 10 days ago and had a lot of plans to put into action.
However I think this is probably the best way forward for Hungerford and HTC as hopefully this will end all the infighting and disarray which has occurred over the past few months and they can now get on with the job with a fresh start.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Local comment - Marina fight continues

I see that West Berks Council (Gawd Bless 'em) will finally rule on the 'controversial' 120 berth Marina next to Freemans Marsh in two weeks time and it looks as though they will rule in favour of the application, although the final decision rests with John Prescott. Now I have no problem with this as I've supported the plan, but Mr Ticehurts and his antis - The friends of the old piggery site very nearly adjoining but in fact some way away from Freemans Marsh" are going to be hopping mad if it is approved and will no doubt chain themselves to the railing alongside the A4 whilst appealing to the European court of justice. This anti brigade claim to be 400 strong but only 10 of them live anywhere near Freemans Marsh or even in Hungerford.
Why can't they accept the inevitable and trust to professional environmentalist to ensure that the developement causes no harm.

Morrissey part 3

I really wish I hadn't started the postings about Morrissey, things have got really bad -I stepped out of the shower this morning humming to myself "I would like to go out tonight but I havent got a thing to wear" - heavens knows I'm miserable now!

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Getting one's leg over?

I don't remember seeing this young lady at the Countryside Alliance march last year (probably because I wasn't there) however I would suggest that this is the incorrect attire when riding out with the Duke of Beaufort Hunt. Click on pick to enlarge

Morrissey - part 2

Further to my posting yesterday I have just seen this report concerning the miserable warbler:
Ananova 19.05.04: Morrissey pulled out of a live session for Radio One's John Peel show after learning he would have to perform in front of 12 competition winners.
The notoriously shy singer explained he "wasn't listening" when his record label Attack Records told him the performance would be in front of a studio audience.
He had been "under the impression that he would perform privately" in a live link to the show, according to a post on Morrissey fansite, Morrissey pre-recorded a session for Radio One which will appear on Zane Lowe's evening show instead of Peel's show.BBC Radio One had been promoting the live session during the past week. Peel was among the first DJs to give the Smiths airplay on national radio in the 80s.
Disappointed competition winners will be offered alternative prizes, according to website says Attack Records, part of the Sanctuary Record label, has yet to provide an official explanation of events surrounding Morrissey's withdrawal from the show.
Morrissey, who lives alone in a Los Angeles mansion, last week admitted to Jonathan Ross on his TV show he has just "seven" friends.

Well that's six more than Michael Jackson! Like I said yesterday, a strange profession for someone to choose who doesn't like performing in public.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004


Just when I've been saying what good music there is currently I see Morrisey (heavens knows I'm miserable now) is back in the charts, (straight in at no.3)for the first time in 7 years. He was on the Jonathan Ross show on Friday and proved he's still just as miserable now as he was then. For someone who dislikes people and attention, as a performer I think he's in the wrong business! I'd rather have a root canal filling whilst have my testicles squeezed in a nut cracker than listen to him.

What if?

If Tony Blair resigns and at the next general election we have a party headed by Gordon Brown or an alternative Tory Party headed by Michael Howard, who are you going to vote for? Well looking at their manifesto's would be a good starting point.
How about this one:
Sounds pretty good to me - whoes manifesto is this? Unfortunately the manifesto of a Racist, Facist party whoes bully boy tactics would destroy a country -shame really,see for yourself here.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Local comment - Local Town Plan

Now that I know Cllr. Bob Gray reads this blog I can use it to congratulate him and comment on the launch of the Hungerford Town Plan. I attended the Launch last Thursday and thought that Bob has done a wonderful job in pulling everyone together and for leading the initiative.
However I hope that the steering group and sub commitees do not get hijacked by certain groups whom hold extreme views and personal agendas. I noted many of them in attendance at the meeting and know their purpose.
It was a pity that there was not a younger element present, as the town plan is a blueprint for 2010+ this affects them more than anyone. The majority of the attendees were 60+, and I think Jack Williams had it right when he said this should have been started 2 years ago.
I wish Bob, the Town council and contributors to the Town plan all the luck the scheme deserves.


Well we finally had a good weekends weather,unfortunately no golf as my partners were all away so I spent Saturday morning with the girls and the horses. I was very nearly tempted to ride (I haven't ridden for 8 years)but I was inappropriately dressed (Shorts and deck shoes) besides I didn't have my riding hat. Well that's my excuse anyway.
Now sad as this may seem, I have always enjoyed watching the Eurovision song contest, which I did on Saturday night. This contest must now be renamed the Balkanvision contest.
It seems that unless your from a former Russian country you haven't got a chance, and the music has nothing to do with it. This makes it even worse from the UK's standpoint. We had a good song but hardly anyone voted for us or Ireland, this wasn't because they didn't like the song but they don't like us. The UK has become the social Pariah of the new Europe. Thank you Mr Blair!

Friday, May 14, 2004

No more crack

A legislator in Louisiana wants to make it illegal for people in Louisiana to wear low-slung pants that expose underwear -- or more.

The bill, sponsored by Democrat Derrick Shepherd, would make it a crime to wear clothing in public that "intentionally exposes undergarments or intentionally exposes any portion of the pubic hair, cleft of the buttocks or genitals."

In recent years many American young men have begun wearing belted jeans several sizes too big, exposing a sizable swath of their boxer shorts, as a fashion statement. Women too have been pushing the boundaries with increasingly lower hip-hugger jeans.

Haven't British builders been doing this for years? This law should be applicable in the UK as well - except for women of course.

Now for your homework

I received an email from a reader who has requested help with his school project; he says: 'I'm doing a school project, a lexicon at and I need to get people to submit words. Maybe you could check out the site and maybe submit a word or two.'
Have look at the site - its certainly not anything that was on the curriculum when I was at school!

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Oik declared victor in battle of cultures

There has been a great deal of discussion of Digby Anderson's publication "All Oiks Now". And, whether or not one agrees with Dr Anderson, the work may indeed spark discussion.
In his provocative book he claims that Middle England is in its death throes and is in terminal decline and its traditional values of self-reliance and self-restraint are in retreat, Where once a core of middle-aged, middle-class people in dull sweaters and sensible shoes could be relied upon to vote against higher taxes and to rail against homosexuality and lone parenthood, today there are only spendthrift, morally bereft “oiks”.

In the shopping mall, the restaurant, on the train and at sports matches and airports, one finds middle-aged, middle-class people “desperately apeing the dress and manners of the lower classes and yoof”. This we can witness in any public place Today’s middle classes, adults and children alike, behave in public places in ways their grandparents would have abhorred — speaking badly, showing off, being familiar with strangers and eating anywhere and anyhow, You only have to sit in departures at any UK airport to see an example of this. Children screaming, demanding and being given all that they demand. Queues at fast food outlets at 7.00 in the morning despite the fact that breakfast will be served on the plane shortly. Adults and children dressed in replica football strips, men and women drinking pints of larger at this early hour ‘cos we’re on ‘oliday init’ whilst the middle aged women sport a vest to show off their latest tattoo with midriff bulging over the waistband of their over tight white leggings finished off with gold mules.

These are the people grocer Jack saw in the bar in Spain, but they are not all ex-pats, they are the new middle England. They have bought their ex- council houses, claim thousands in benfits or are living off large compensation payouts from a broken fingernail at work. They can afford two holidays a year, a decent car on finance and more credit cards than you can throw a big stick at. New middle England is the former Essex man, woman and child. Footballers wives on acid. You only have to watch any late night TV show ie. Club reps, taxi nights, wife swap or any reality TV show to see what I mean – an alcohol and drug fuelled existence across all age groups..

I believe there is still an old cultured Middle England, but keeping its head down in the provinces for fear of violence or mugging. The country dwellers and habitants of market towns and traditional villages keep away from the large towns and cities unless absolutely necessary. In the future I believe that with an Orwellian vision we will have a two zone existence; those that dwell in the cities and those outside our only interaction and vision into each others way of life being through the evening news or daily newspapers.

Digby Anderson believes the oiks are fast becoming the majority, therefore fashion, food and entertainment goods manufactures cater for their tastes and needs, therefore the whole thing becoming self perpetuating and as a majority they have the voting power over our democracy – unfortunately I think he’s right but I wouldn’t call them Middle England. which conjures up a Vicar of Dibbley kind of lifestyle, but ‘Tony’s England’ which more resembles life with the Osbournes.

This posting ties in with an earlier one Is This England? which I posted earlier last month in reponse to Right Girls' Grim Tale

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Anyone seen my LP?

I found a website yesterday which specialised in the registration of vintage guitars and registered my Ibanez Artist which is a rare 1977 model. I had to take a photo of it to send in along with the serial number. I also published the photo along with one of a Les Paul signed by Mike Rutherford that I own, on my home page (see links right) and this reminded me of a guitar I used to own.
This was a white 1973 Gibson Les Paul Custom, similar to the one pictured but with gold plated metal work and pickup covers. I changed the original Gibson Humbuckers to DiMarzio's.
Anyway the point of this is that I loved that guitar having saved for months to buy it in 1978. The only problem was that there was a guy who frequented the wine bar where I used to play who also loved it and was prepared to offer handsomely, only he couldn't afford it and anyway I didn't want to sell. Until one day he could stand it no longer - he had to have this guitar so he made me an offer I couldn't refuse, his Suzuki XL 250 motor bike which if I remember rightly was only a year old. So I did the deed.
Now I don't remember the chaps name, I don't think I ever saw him again, but I never made a note of the serial number and now they have registers for the whereabouts of these instruments I'd love to know what happened to it. I'm sure the bike's long in the scrap yard, I can't even remember what I did with it, but someone, somewhere is still loving that guitar. If anyone recognises this story email me.

Local comment - Town Council

Congrats to Mansil for his Mayoral election. I hear it was a close run thing but I think the result is probably best for the Town. David has done an excellent job over the last year and only had half a council due for the first six months due to an unfortunate start to the year. However had the vote gone the other way on Monday I fear there would have been a repeat of this and we would have ended up with an non unifde council yet again - good luck to all with new responsibilities within council- use them for the benefit of the town only!

Further to my posting on Monday, I have just renegotiated my membership at Deanwood Park Golf club, thanks for that John, if your local to the Newbury area and considering joining a friendly golf club with a good social scene you wouldn't go far wrong with Deanwood - what it lacks in lenght it makes up for in the need for skill.

I wish it were a Joke

The follwing was lifted from Toms Blog which I hope he does not mind.

His friends called him Geoff. The children called him Sergeant Roberts. He was sitting in one of those horrible child-sized plastic chairs that's falling apart. He was wearing a blue police uniform, adorned with his name, number and he had on him a baton and radio. The headmaster of the school hushed the children, led a short prayer and started the assembly. He drifted off during it, but stood to attention when his name was called.

"Good morning children", he said to the amassed children. "Today, I have been invited by your school to give a talk on the topic of road safety. For the younger ones here, this is essential, and it may also be useful for the older children who are beginning to learn to ride bicycles."

"Due to the amount of traffic accidents, the government and many religious groups are now asking you to not take part in road usage. After the assembly, your teachers will give you 'Road Abstinence Pledge Cards', after which you should pray not to use the road. It's dangerous and risky. Cars drive down it, and can hit you. You should stay off the road, at all times. You'll thank me when you're older."

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Why doesn't anyone ever visit my guestbook?

As you can see I get a lot of visitors to this site, however the only identification of my visitor is an IP address. It would be really nice if you would leave a comment in my guestbook, I really don't care what it says, I would just like to know someone other than Grocer Jack, Right Girl and Nigel actually reads this stuff - Thank you
In case you haven't noticed I'm feeling rather down and depressed today and would rather be playing Spain! infact I'd rather be doing anything, anywhere else in the world where its not cold and raining, a pint of guinness doesn't cost £2.75, petrol is not £4.00 a gallon, where you don't stand a chance of getting mugged on evey street corner, where there's not a 9 month waiting list for an operation and your job is taken by a refugee and every penny we earn is taxed to the hilt!

If I was female I'd put it down to PMT. Is there such a thing as the Male menopause?

What the hell are these guys on?

Extreme ironers head for the US

Enthusiasts of the sport of extreme ironing are heading to the US as part of their campaign for Olympic recognition.Members of the Extreme Ironing Bureau will be aiming to show off their expertise by ironing in locations such as Mount Rushmore and Times Square.
Team member Phil Shaw said: "After our victory at the Extreme Ironing World Championships in 2002, I knew there was no other place for us to go but America.
"We liken it to the last unconquered territory. If you haven't extreme ironed here, you haven't truly mastered the art. Who knows what's in store for the sport next; maybe one day Olympic recognition."
The two-week long adventure begins in Boston, on May 17, continues in the Black Hills of South Dakota at Mount Rushmore among other locations, with a grand finale in Times Square on Memorial Day, May 31.
Extreme ironing involves ironing items of laundry in remote, inhospitable, dangerous or unusual locations.Fans will have the opportunity to watch their progress on the extreme ironing website

Now they must need clothes to iron so maybe this is a cheap way to get all your wardrobe pressed - I wonder if they collect and deliver?

Monday, May 10, 2004

Good golf ,bad golf

Welcome back to Grocer Jack, glad he had good weather and good golf, which is more than can be said for my Saturday morning round Not only did it piss down but I played crap golf in the Stableford competition and struggled to get round physically. I think I finally got to accept that I can no longer get round a full 18, especially without holding others up, so its the end of competitions unless I get a buggy. Which means a bit of renegotiation over my membership subs.

Grocer Jack seems to have had some unfortunate comments left on his blog whilst away, I think that we bloggers and our readers need to be reminded that we do this for fun and friendship. The subject postings are our own thoughts and beliefs and not of anyone else's. If you disagree or agree with a subject that is posted the comment box is there for you to add your say or basically just keep in touch. Its always nice to get a comment, because you know someone has bothered to visit and actually read and take an interest in your site. I hope that this is the end of the matter and we do not have a repeat and that Jack will continue to post his musings.

Friday, May 07, 2004

Ouch! This has got to hurt

If this is the latest ride at Alton Towers then count me out. I can't imagine what the surprise would be but judging by the expression on the face of the guy in the middle it's gotta hurt! Suggestions on a postcard please. Click on pic to enlarge.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Mad or what?

Here is an interesting web site which I urge you to look at. It's not a blog but a sort of journal by a Russian Girl called Elena. Her website Ghost Town is about her travels on a Kawasaki Z11 into the dead zone which was once Chernobyl.
"I travel a lot and one of my favorite destinations leads North from Kiev, towards so called Chernobyl "dead zone", which is 130kms from my home. Why my favorite? Because one can take long rides there on empty roads." yeah right , one hardly likely to get grid locked around there. As she says later on "There are no commercial gas/petrol stations in the area, so the tank must be full and I check the fuel reserve and tire repair kit. I don't want to be marooned in the middle of nuclear desert."

This is a fascinating site with pictures of the dead zone which are quite amazing. Click on the link above or on the picture to go to the site

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

YOPS they used to call it

Ananova:- German brothels are to be ordered to offer work experience and trainee posts if they want to continue doing business.
According to a draft bill that has been agreed by the coalition government, all companies with more than 10 staff members must provide work experience and training places and brothels are no exception, says the German Ministry for Education, Training and Research.
A number of Green Party politicians have called for an exception to be made for the sex industry. They say it would lead to bordello owners registering fewer girls as staff members in order to avoid the extra costs affiliated with providing training.
In turn prostitutes who are not officially employed would receive no health insurance.
But the Education Ministry rejected the Greens' calls saying it would cause the lines between nightclubs and brothels to become blurred.
The Ministry added that because prostitution was not a profession as such, the trainee and work experience posts offered by brothels should be for people working alongside the prostitutes as waiters and waitresses, book-keepers or sales and marketing staff.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

As we haven't had joke for a while............

Four men playing golf one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the greenn fees. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.The first man told the others, 'My son is a Developer/ builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new house for free. Just gave it to him!'
The second man said, 'My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded.'
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, 'My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio.'
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, 'We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?'
The fourth man replied, 'Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay bar.'
The other three men grew silent as he continued, 'I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio.

Typical Bank Holiday

Well apart from Sunday, the weekend was a washout. I hope Jack got away to Spain OK, he seemed to have some domestic problems before he left which I hope are all sorted now. My friend Chris got back from the Algarve this morning and tells me the weather has been pretty much the same there as here, ie cold and wet. The forecast here is for more rain and I feel sorry for those who have organised events planned for the coming weekend. I assume Shalbourne Fete went ahead but I haven' heard.
We welcomed home Sid and Geordie in the Plume Sunday lunchtime. They had traveled all the way to Grenada (Caribbean) to watch the test between England and The West Indies, only for the match to be cancelled due to rain, the complete pitch being waterlogged and not a single ball bowled. Now that you would not expect in April in the Carib! Global warming - I don't think so.

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Yoh, Yoh! And 3 points for you

Post arrived this morning with a nice little letter from the Metropolitan Police (working for a safer London) informing me that their speed Nazis had taken a nice snapshot of my car whilst traveling at an excess speed of 40mph on the M25 through a road works section at Thorpe. Well its not often that you can go faster than 40 on the M25 - but then it was 4.30 in the morning so I guess that's another 3 points and £60 in the pocket of the Met's camera bank account - this has got to stop.

Nice round of golf this morning, although damp underfoot managed to stay dry. Played with Myles whom I haven't played with for sometime, most enjoyable. The course was very quiet as tomorrow is medal day and the new Captains drive in - start of the club new season, so I guess everyone is playing tomorrow.

After my posting about Marillion and venues etc, Grocer Jack pointed out that they have a single out, straight in at No.7 in the chart and Guns n' Roses are top of the album chart (although radio 1 won't play it). Does this mean that good old rock is finally coming back. There are some excellent new bands in the charts at the moment -Maroon 5 -who sound uncanily like Jamouriqui, Franz Ferdinand, The Rasmus, The Muse. Proper guitar bands seem to be making a comeback hopefully to displace the seemingly popular Gangster rap style which has dominated the scene for the last couple of years, with meaningless lyrics smattered witobscenitieses which must make any parent of young children cringe when top of the pops is on the TV. The current No.1 is a little ditty entitled " Fuck it I dont want you back" Sung by some guy called Eamon who performs the entire piece whilst holding his crotch. What's with this? Michael Jackson started it in the early 90's and its seems derigeur for any rap artist to perform with his hand firmly grasping his manhood whilst dressed in a hoody and constantly pointing his other finger at a space somewhere infront whilst chanting 'Yoh, yoh fuck it yoh. Sod it , I must be getting old, I sound just like my Father.