I wish it were a Joke
The follwing was lifted from Toms Blog which I hope he does not mind.
His friends called him Geoff. The children called him Sergeant Roberts. He was sitting in one of those horrible child-sized plastic chairs that's falling apart. He was wearing a blue police uniform, adorned with his name, number and he had on him a baton and radio. The headmaster of the school hushed the children, led a short prayer and started the assembly. He drifted off during it, but stood to attention when his name was called.
"Good morning children", he said to the amassed children. "Today, I have been invited by your school to give a talk on the topic of road safety. For the younger ones here, this is essential, and it may also be useful for the older children who are beginning to learn to ride bicycles."
"Due to the amount of traffic accidents, the government and many religious groups are now asking you to not take part in road usage. After the assembly, your teachers will give you 'Road Abstinence Pledge Cards', after which you should pray not to use the road. It's dangerous and risky. Cars drive down it, and can hit you. You should stay off the road, at all times. You'll thank me when you're older."