New Pirates

  I am so excited, the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie will be released on July 7th and I can't wait. I only hope that it is as good as the first. You can view the trailer here


Here's a first. Last night's episode of Lost that I actually understood.Mind you it was the first episode I managed to stay awake through.

Forecast is good for the weekend so I shall be looking forward to Golf on Sunday morning and the rest of the weekend relaxing. Dom has decided that he doesn't like France and is returning on Friday. Unfortunately I have to go and pick him up at 5.30pm from Stanstead! The worst possible time for a Friday especially as it means my forgoing my usual Friday lunch. 

I'm Being harassed

I have taken a few days off this week to catch up on garden jobs. Whilst doing some repairs to the French window sills, an Army helicopter was carrying out maneuvers nearby.
Now this is nothing unusual as they use the private landing strip next to us as a reference point and quite often fly by and turn at this point, usually they are Hind type aircraft.
What was unusual was that this was a black stealth Apache attack helicopter which was a) bloody noisy and b) wouldn't go away. He just kept going around doing various aerobatics showing off and generally getting right up my nose, so when he next flew by and could obviously see me I gave him the V's with both hands and in no uncertain terms mouthed for him to 'get the fuck out of hear'.
Now this appeared to have been a bad idea because the pilot obviously clearly got the message, he put the helicopter into a steep climb, turned and dived straight towards me, leveling out at the last minute then circled the garden in ever decreasing circles until I thought he was going to land, jump out and lump me. However he continued to circle winding me up more, until he got bored and went away.
An hour later the helicopter was back, but somehow I guessed it was a different pilot although he too flew low over me. I believe the first pilot went back to base and told his mates to go and wind up the 'Victor Meldrew' character painting in his garden.

I wanted to complain but didn't know who to complain to, they could be from any number of military bases in our area, besides I couldn't see a designation number, I had considered get my rifle which has very powerful telescopic sights which would enable me to read any identification marks, but then I thought that this may be a bad idea, finding a red laser dot trained on my chest does not appeal to me.

Missive from Gascony

Got a text fron Dom this Morning read: 'Feeling a bit pissed this morning, I've just bottled 2500 litres of red wine and that's just from the fumes. I've got the same to do in white this afternnoon.
Yesterday was spent tending vines and collecting 2 horses, one worth £32K oh and the temps around 34 degrees' - oh I wish!

Nice weekend

Inspite of a golf free weekend. I thoroughly enjoyed it (even if Monty didn't).
No golf due to having to take Dom to Stanstead Airport early Saturday morning for his trip to France for the summer, he's working on a vineyard/stud (I only bought him a one way ticket and told him to find his own way back). We had lunch at the Golf club on the way back and a thoroughly lazy afternoon in the garden. Then Celebrated Neil B's 50th at the Corn exchange in the evening, very good band and great food, congrats to Neil.
Sunday was Belinda's birthday so absolutely no chance of golf, instead we had lunch at the Three Swans.
I have to say this was one of the best lunches I have had for a long time. I had a Tuna steak that was almost the size of the plate and at least an inch thick cooked to perfection, served by the chef ,John, who waited whilst I cut and tasted it to hear if it was to my satisfaction. Belinda had the Roast Sirloin of beef which was basically a cow minus the head, legs and tail, equally delicious washed down with a couple of bottle of Sauvigion recommended by Carol and the hole course preceede by fresh Scotch smoked salmon, the meal being accompanied by a jazz trio playing in the background.
I cannot recommend this venue enough for a Sunday lunch, fantastic value and a great atmosphere, Belinda thoroughly enjoyed her birthday lunch and I my Fathers day, even though I didn't get a card from my son, the Tuna steak more than made up for it and on top of all this - fantastic weather!

If I hear one more person exclaim 'ooh it's too hot , I can't stand this heat' I'm going to swing for them, after month of cold and the wetest May on record, it's midsummers day this week and so far we've had about 7 days of full sunshine and people still complain. Funny how some of these people still go to a hot country for their holidays!

World Cup Benefits

The Football World cup, bring it on! No I'm not a fan, I'll leave those comments to Grocer Jack, but I do approve of the benefits of an England match being played on a sunny Saturday, as follows:

The Golf club was deserted enabling a perfect amble around 18 holes in the sun.
There were only 2 people at the checkout at the Garden Centre, in fact there were only 2 people who were not staff in total.
I could park anywhere in the high street.
The supermarket had stocked up with enough BBQ charcoal to power Didcot power station, so unlike any other sunny Saturday I didn't have to visit every petrol station in the area.
There were no queues at the supermarket checkout.
The roads were deserted.
The High street was full of scantily clad, attractive Women who had left their husbands/boyfriends in front of the TV or in the pub dribbling beer down their England T shirts, except Steve W, who was sipping wine at home I hear.

So I eagerly await the next England weekend game!

Bye Basil

Basil the fox cub has finally left us for a refuge in Oxfordshire. We handed him over ar a halfway point last night. Can't say I'll miss him, certainly not his fully grown mates when I've got a 12 bore in my hands.

Golf tomorrow morning, new balls arrived this morning in the post so I won't have to troll through my practice ball bag or buy lake reclaims at the club house. The forcast is great so out with the shorts ad the lilly white legs.

Can You Beleive this?

Horror fan names 6/6/06 baby Damien

A horror film fan gave birth to a 6lb 6oz baby on 6/6/06 - and called it Damien.
Suzanne Cooper named her baby after the devil child in the The Omen who was born on 6/6/66.

Special needs teacher Suzanne, 36, was induced for six days before Damien arrived at 6.59am, reports the Mirror.

She said: "We are overjoyed about the baby. The Omen is one of our favourite films and that's why I was keeping my legs crossed for a birth on the 6th.

"It does seem a bit weird I suppose, but he's a perfect baby - nothing at all like Damien in The Omen."

Electrical engineer Mike added: "It was a devil of a birth - a bit of a horror show. Once she went into labour it was straightforward, but six days in hospital is a long time to wait.

"It took a fair bit of persuasion for Suzanne to let us call him Damien but it seems fitting considering the date."

Poor Kid.

The interview.

Well it seems to be the silly season for video clips. I just received this one THE INTERVIEW from Martin Simons and laughed my socks off so I felt I needed to share it with you.
My apologies to those who can not view the Jenny McCarthy clip, you need to have divX installed.

Update on Basil the fox cub, he's making a great recovery and we have found a sanctuary who will take him tomorrow night.

Prejudices

This is really funny and highlights people reactions to a stereotype CLICK HERE and be sure to watch the whole clip

The Sun Shone

The fist weekend with Guarranteed sun and I got to try out the new lawn tactor. Very good, infinitely better than my old one, only a lttle taller.
I discovered this as I drove slowly passed the garage and stopped alongside a broom lying on the ground. I leant out to pick it up on to find I couldn't quite reach without lifting my foot off the brake and the tractor shot forward. My head hit the concrete block pillar that divides the double garage doors followed closley by my shoulder which eventually pulled me off the machine which fortunatley cut out as I left the seat (safety cut out awitch)
I got away with cuts and bruises but I shan't be doing that again.

Basil is doing well and now able to satnd on all four legs, looks like hew also was severly bruised but nothing broken. He is extremely vicious and will bite anything that gets near him, We will keep him caged until the end of the week then release him, the only problem is where to do it, he'd probably be safest in the middle of London.

Beautiful morning yesterday on the golf course. Although with plasters and a bandage adorning various injured limbs, I still managed to play a medal match, but for the first time ever managed to lose 4 balls. I never take more than 4 out with me and had to borrow one off my partners. Needless to say he gave me the cheapest, crappiest ball he could find in his bag and try as hard as I did, I could not lose it. However a crappy score card resulted, never mind I've just ordered some brand new super dooper, extra long, extra soft, tour grade Maxfli's - well that what it said on the box - will let you know what they're like.

OOPS!

Came acroos this clip of Jenny McCarthy popping out of her dress then losing it big time when ponted out. Quite amusing.

Country Ways part II

The Fox is still with us and we now believe it to be a dog rather than vixen, difficult to tell at this age, Sid has suggested a name - Basil!, well it beats Foxy or Reney (bit eastern european for my taste).
Didn't mention yesterday that, prior to leaving for work, Bin went to check on Foxy (as he/she was then) she threw her handbag into car, along with car keys, obviously inadvertantley pressed remote button, then shut drivers door. I was just about to leave when she knocked on my window and disclosed the problem. 'So use your spare key' I said 'er, I think it's in my handbag, which is on the front seat' came the reply
So, in the time that it took for Bin to go indoors and phone work to say that she would be late I had gained entry into the car with a pair of Bar-B-que tongs, something to do with a mispent youth - no not one of car theft, but one of always locking oneself out of ones car.
So, back to this afternoon - pleasant lunch with the boys, home in study, feet up pushing some z's, Dom comes home conversation something like this:
Dom 'hi Dad, good day?'
Me 'yeah, not bad, got the workshop manual for the mower.
Dom 'Got a deer in the garage'
Me 'WTF! we're not a effing animal sancturary'
Dom 'No Dad, this ones dead'
Me ' what do mean dead? why is it in the garage? - along with Foxy (as he was then)'
Dom 'Um we ran into it, caused a lot of damage to the car (not Dom's) so I bought it home'
Me 'Why?'
Dom 'To eat, it would be a shame to let it go to waste, besides it was blocking the road'
Me 'Right we'd better go and butcher it then'
Bin arrived home half an hour later and swore as she had just bought a leg of lamb for Sunday lunch.

For those who are interested Basil is as well as can be expected and feeding well, sharing offal with Winston and Lucy (Doms ferrets) and will be staying with us until he has recovered.

Rename Blog - Country Ways

It seems that more and more of my postings are country matter based, so maybe I should change the name. Last night Dominic was cooking dinner, I was in the garage polishing my new mower and Belinda was out riding. Call from Belinda on mobile 'I've come across an injured fox, can't just leave it, can you boys come and sort it out?'
No problem we thought. Now you have to understand that whatever your stance is on wildlife, one has to understand the balance of nature around us. The fox is the enemy in our country, especially with a field full of young lambs next door and pheasant and partridge just starting to nest, so the reaction was to throw the gun in the back of the Land Rover.
However to my suprise, Dom added a thick pair of industrial gloves and a pet carrier.
We drove across the fields to meet Belinda where she had stood guard and to mark the spot. The fox was still there curled in a ball, Dom approached it and she tried to get up and run. It very quickly became apparent that she had an injured hind leg and was going nowhere fast.

She was in fact a vixen cub, no more than 9 weeks old and very beautiful although aggressive as Dom found out when he tried to pick her up, good move bringing the gloves. Needless to say the gun remained in its sleeve, neither of us had the heart to put her out of her misery. She had obviously been hit by a car and had at least a broken rear leg if not pelvis or dislocated hips and no way of knowing if there was internal bleeding. So a decision was made - take her home and if she survives the night then we'll make a decision in the morning.

Now this goes against all our insticts and upbringing, having a fox in captivity!

Well she settled in a large cage in the garage, with an old sheepskin car seat cover, a bowl of water and dog food. This morning we were all eager to see if she had survived the night and were pleased to see she had both eaten and drank all food and water and shit and pissed for England. So what to do with her!

Well I first called a local animal welfare centre, who suggested that I take it to St. Tiggywinles - in Aylesbury, 60 miles away - yeah right, I've really got the time for that and, as I pointed out to the girl on the other end of the really helpful phone that this was a wild animal and she may have mistaken me for someone who actually gives a shit - which I quietly do - so I then called the RSPCA who after wanting to know all my personal details short of my inside leg measurement suggested that I took it to my local vet. My local vet charges £30.00 for just walking throught he door and hates foxes, so that was not an option.

So when I got home from work the first thing I did was check on the cub, so did Dom and so did Bin, half an hour later all three of us are around the cage. The cub is a bit more lively and has ate all food and drink left for the day. She had a tick attached to her lower eyelid wich Bin removed whilst the cub managed to bite through Doms glove.

So we've decided to nurse her back to health and no doubt If she is still alive tomorrow we will give her a pet name. Then we will release her back into the wild (not locally) where she will be shot by a gamekeeper.

C'est la vie