I'm Being harassed
I have taken a few days off this week to catch up on garden jobs. Whilst doing some repairs to the French window sills, an Army helicopter was carrying out maneuvers nearby.
Now this is nothing unusual as they use the private landing strip next to us as a reference point and quite often fly by and turn at this point, usually they are Hind type aircraft.
What was unusual was that this was a black stealth Apache attack helicopter which was a) bloody noisy and b) wouldn't go away. He just kept going around doing various aerobatics showing off and generally getting right up my nose, so when he next flew by and could obviously see me I gave him the V's with both hands and in no uncertain terms mouthed for him to 'get the fuck out of hear'.
Now this appeared to have been a bad idea because the pilot obviously clearly got the message, he put the helicopter into a steep climb, turned and dived straight towards me, leveling out at the last minute then circled the garden in ever decreasing circles until I thought he was going to land, jump out and lump me. However he continued to circle winding me up more, until he got bored and went away.
An hour later the helicopter was back, but somehow I guessed it was a different pilot although he too flew low over me. I believe the first pilot went back to base and told his mates to go and wind up the 'Victor Meldrew' character painting in his garden.
I wanted to complain but didn't know who to complain to, they could be from any number of military bases in our area, besides I couldn't see a designation number, I had considered get my rifle which has very powerful telescopic sights which would enable me to read any identification marks, but then I thought that this may be a bad idea, finding a red laser dot trained on my chest does not appeal to me.