OOPS! I forgot

Bollocks, throllocks, shit bang, soapy titwank. dickfrig, fuckwit, arsesoles, front bottoms and every othe expletitive you can think of. I've had a very busy day preparing for a workshop at Oxford tomorrow morning, got home from work, downed a bottle of wine, had dinner, happened to glance at the kitchen notice board, saw invite to Ale tasting (for tonight) swore at wife for not reminding me and have now retired to my study with a bottle of Cotes Du Rhone. A poor substitute for the Ales that would have been on offer at the Corn Exchange. To make matters worse, I will not be partaking in tomorrows Hocktide celebrations because SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK! mind you it's the first time in 15 years.

The New Blondie?

I actually sat and watched a whole Top of the Pops last night inspite of vowing never to watch it again, but it was great to see Alison Goldfrapp, she is definately the new Debbie Harry looks and sounds like and almost as sexy. However whilst I quite like No.1 Gnarls Barkley, Crazy what the hell are the 70's airline uniforms all about? anyone got a clue?

Meanwhile I see Fern's lost about 15 years and 15 stone or am I thinking of another TV presenter, also I don't think she liked co presenting with Jo Whiley.

All creatures great and small

One of those mornings of golf where nothing goes right inspite of the right mindset and weather. However, things didn't help having an antipodean guest, whom had never played 18 holes on a proper golf course before and with a borrowed set of clubs managed to par the first 5 holes and finish with a 2 under par to the full handicap we had awarded him. I'm sure I heard the strum of a Mexican guitar somewhere in the background.

A very fine champagne and full English breakfast at the Plume this Morning to celebrate Fluey's leg break being back to full health, needless to say Dee was being kept at a distance inspite of constant humming of 'Bolero' around the bar. Cheers Jim!

And finally to those who missed it - get a copy of The Mail on Sunday's 'You' magazine - Alice's story, an inspiration to us all -yeah right!

So after Golf on Saturday,I came home to what was probably the first decent spring weekend afternoon and decided that a quiet afternoon on the patio with a book and a glass of wine was in order. Have you ever noticed how much spring shagging is going on, and how noisy it is, goes on at this time of year? Everything is at it, from two honeybees over my book to five buzzards vying for the consent of two females on a thermal above my head, not to mention the two bucks rutting the other side of the hedge and the cows calving in the yard next door. That reminded me of Swindon maternity ward two in the morning 18 years ago - quiet afternoon in the garden? nah, when the prat in the biplane decided to pick my patch of the countryside to practice his cunning stunts in, I decided to head for my study.

Smoking

By the way I month ago today since I last had a cigarette and I don't miss it a bit but I don't feel any different.

Easter was...

Interesting especially in the light of my last posting as to the maeaning of Easter I think I managed to acheive all that I was moaning about.
Good Friday - spent most of the day clearing out the Barn and had a major bonfire, I supose something spititual could be read into that.
Saturday - Should have been traditional golf but overslept and missed tee off time so dumped rubbish that we couldn't burn and then set about stripping the patio furniture prior to teak oil application. This involved some retail therapy at the garden centre to get teak oil - amongst other bits and bobs. Spent afternoon sanding down furniture. Dom cut the lawns.
Easter Sunday - Curses the supermarket is closed, had to use the Co-op, no news papers, what is the world coming to? something more traditional for the rest of the day, friends around for a full roast however it was only when one of our guest produced an Esater egg for Dom that we remembered or rather forgot the Easter egg bit, we hadn't bought anyone anything. Although Dom is 18 he is still partial to chocolate, however he didn't like to mention the fact that we hadn't bought him anything. The rest of the day turned into a blur or red wine.
Monday - Traditional gardening with headache
So a traditional Easter all round

Have to mention Thursday's RT AGM at the Bear - very good, great turnout and suprisingly good food and wine. Good luck to Dean in the chair.

Easter, what's it all about then

This week is Holy week, traditionally a time when Christians reflect upon the crucification of Christ and what his death and ressurection means to millions of Christians worlwide - except in Britain.
In Britain Easter means pissing off to Majorca for a week,or shivering in freezing conditions, stuffing oneself with exorbitantly overpriced chocolate eggs or chocolate anything, Easter bunnies - where the hell to they fit in? -Easter greeting cards, overpriced flowers etc.etc
In fact Easter has become just another excuse for retail therapy - as if we needed an excuse- and the retailers just cash in on it. You only have to visit your local B&Q tomorrow to see how the vast majority will be spending their Easter weekend.
Ask the average 10 yera old what Easter is all about and I'll bet you a Cadburys cream egg that they can't tell you. Maybe it's because 50% of Britains population is non-Christian and 25% couldn't care or are even unaware of why they have 2 days holiday and the banks are closed.
Me? I'll be toasting Jesus with a large glass of Pinot and maybe a Guinness on Sunday - I don't like chocolate abd the weather is too cold to spend in the garden.
Shit! was that christmas decorations I just saw in the garden centre?

A tribute to Dusty

The South Bank show last night dedicated a documentary on the life of the wonderful Dusty Springfield. This was an excellent programme which reminded us that inspite of a trajically tormented lifestyle she was still the best soul singer that Britain has ver produced. Thank God she left us with such a musical legacy. Her recordings are played on the radio as often as any current artist and more than any other deceased artist. She will always remain a special person.

Sporty weekend

Congratulations to Phil Mickelson on winning the Masters it was a superb finish, as was the Grand National. Bin picked the winning horse and pocketed a decent sum as a result, unfortunately my horse Ballicassidy fell at the 25th after leading by 20 lenghts for more than half the race, I was getting quite excited as I had odds of 90/1 on him.
I felt the sun on my back on Saturday morning for the first time on the golf course this year. It was so nice not to be wearing waterproofs and my game was all the better for it, let's hope this is the start of the better weather.
I even managed to get the lawns cut on Sunday morning - just before it hailed! which fortunately coincided with Beer o'clock time!

Re the Kintbury Crossroads, I take it all back. On my way to the golf club early on Saturday Morning the workmen were out there erecting more signs and traffic lights and on my way home - not a workman insight but in the middle of the road is now a beautifully crafted traffic island, - I was dead impressed.

All's well in the world

Yesterday was our 25th wedding anniversary and it is just as cold now as it was then (our wedding day). Oxford won the boat race. Aldiniti won the grand National and the only difference is that I couldn't afford a decent bottle of Bolly to celebrate then!Thank you for your cards
Now to put things in perspective - my 12 string is still in tune and rain is forcast for the weekend so I still won't be able to cut the grass!

Kintbury Cross Roads - Go Slow

After years of accidents, many of them fatal, West Berks council finally agreed to do something about this dangerous crossroads. Campaigners where hoping for a roundabout but the council declared that this would be too expensive and that traffic calming measures would have to suffice.
So I was delighted to see a sign erected 3 weeks ago stating that work would comence w/c 20th March. However 2 weeks later they have managed to erect a sign annoncing 'New road layout ahead' and what looks to be a bus stop laybye. I travel along this stretch quite often and have yet to see a workman or piece of machinary.
No further work has taken place since and the cynical side of me thinks that it will stay like this for sometime until another accident reminds WBC to finish the job.

Great new diet

WARNING, DO NOT READ WHILST HAVING LUNCH.

Well Bin and I have just discovered a sure way to loose a stone in 4 days. It's called The Involantry Detox diet and can be accomplished quiet easily - just contract Gastric Flu.
Yes my wife and I spent most of last week discovering that the human body was not designed for self evacuation from more than one orifice at the same time. This presents a whole new dimmension on which way you approach the loo. If you choose this drastic method of weight loss we can only recommend the addition of a bucket to your bathroom.
By Saturday Morning I thought I had recovered sufficiently to play golf, wrong! when driving off the tee remembering to "follow through with your swing" brings a completely different result.

We are now both well and for the record its now day 12 since I last had a cigarette. I not grally grouchy but I can now sympathise with PMT.