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Monday, February 28, 2005

Thank God They've Gone

For the past week we have had to endure a film crew who encamped outside the town hall and took over the upper end of the high street. The lorries and equipment including highlift platforms and scaffolding took up all the parking space along both sides of the street and made parking for the shops and the pub immpossible. 5 days for a 30 second advert for ING bank and a loss of thousands to local business plus considerable inconvenience for the locals with absolutely no benefit to the town. (except for the Town and Manor!)Don't let this happen again.


A Right Result

What an excellent game! Wales beating the French on their home ground, that had to be one of the most exciting games I've ever seen and the England v Ireland game one of the most disappointing, we certainly weren't helped by the ref. Whatever the Welsh coach gave the team at half time he ought to let Andy Robinson have some.
No golf this weekend - too cold!

Friday, February 25, 2005

Unique job interviews

Job Interview Quotations

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.
Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fies in the interviewers office.
Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer.
Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.
Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
Candidate brought large dog to interview.
Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.
Candidate dozed off during interview.

The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates.

"What is it that you people do at this company?"
"What is the company motto?"
"Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"
"What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
"Why do you want references?"
"Do I have to dress for the next interview?"
"I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"
"Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"
"Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"
"Does your health insurance cover pets?"
"Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"
"Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"
"Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"
"Why am I here?"

Also included are a number of unusual statement made by candidates during the interview process.
I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.
At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.
I feel uneasy indoors.
Sometimes I feel like smashing things.
Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.
I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington.
I get excited very easily.
I am fascinated by fire.
I like tall women.
People are always watching me.
If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back.
I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker.
I never get hungry.
I know who is responsible for most of my troubles
If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival.
I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.
I think I'm going to throw-up.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

You won't fly again

This is rather amusing THINGS YOU WONT SEE ON CNN. Worth a look

Monday, February 21, 2005

Quiet Weekend

With no Rugby on during the afternoons, I've been at at loose end this weekend. Saturday morning was taken up with collecting hay bails for the horses, now have hay coating to carpets, ceiling and upholstery of Range Rover, Bin's promised to hoover out but much of the hay was left from the last trip which she also promised to do.
Golf Sunday morning was fking freezing but thankfully dry althouth the ground was so hard it was difficult to hold the greens.
Comment for locals - We had Sunday lunch at the new retaurant at the Three Swans, which I must say was surprisingly good and although the room lacks atmosphere I can thoroughly recommend it from the quality and quantity of food, service and value for money. (That'll upset Jimmy)

New quiz

Well I'm not sure how the quiz went last week as I only had one response from SteveW who said it was difficult to download. If youd do not have broadband, this will take 3 or 4 minutes and you should save it to My Docs rather than try to dopen it direct. The file is an excel file and is 1MB. I will try one more and see how you get on, we'll try POPSTARS OF THE EIGHTIES You will need to get the artis/band's name exactly, some require 'The' before the band name and spelling has to be exact, use the comments if you need any clues.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

its quiz time

Ok new feature, something to while away your time, this is a pop quiz, you have to guess the name of the group from the cryptic photographs. I scored 26 out of 28 ( can't get no.3 or no.16 see how you do. CLICK HERE FOR QUIZ Hint: expand the file view up to 200%
I will post a similar quiz each week, next will be album covers.

Monday, February 14, 2005

A disappointing weekend part 2

So home from a golfless morning and therefore time to go into town, do shopping for Sunday lunch (Bin was riding, assuming the snow hadn't reached her) and plenty of time for a Guinness or two at the local before the England/France match. Feeling down I couldn't resist treating to myself to the DVD 'The Village' even at £14.99 from the display of the top 10 videos at the supermarket. It was no.3 in the chart. no. 2 being the Bourne supremacy which we've already seen. I'd heard a review on Friday claiming the Village to be the scariest movie yet, The review on the back stated 'THE VILLAGE is a riveting, edge-of-your-seat chiller With unforgettable performances from stars Sigourney Weaver, William Hurt, Adrien Brody and newcomer Bryce Dallas Howard, this powerful suspense thriller is the must-see hit of the year.' Well I thought 'I'll look forward to that this evening'
In the meantime I had a pint and the match to look forward too. The first was considerably more satisfying than the second. A defeat by the French, at home, by one point - unbelievable. Incredible an to make things worse the French played crap!
Now seriously pissed off!
Well at least we have a decent film to watch - yeah right - it turns out that the Village is the biggest load of crap ever produced with a plot that seems to have come straight from a Scooby Doo cartoon only not as scary. Avoid this film at all costs, unless you can see it for free, infact I have a copy going cheap.
There are not words to express just how pissed off I was on Sunday night
Actually there was an unexpected pleasure to Saturday night, Channel 4 screened 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' one of my favorite films.

A disappointing weekend Part 1

Well a pretty shitty weekend all around.Firstly, I had decided to sell my collection of Duran Duran awards which I acquired some year ago, as now they are known again. Collecting them up to photograph I discovered 2 important ones missing, one being one of a pair presented to Andy Taylor for'Rio'. Now the last time I saw this award was 7 years ago when it was on the wall behind the bar at the Paddock. Needless to say I searched all the barns down there, the loft and under the stairs at home and needless to say came up empty handed, so that has really pissed me off.
Secondly,on Sunday I teed off the first at 9.00 in the sunshine with a cracking shot, however by the time I was putting out a large black cloud had hovered overhead and deposited several tons of hail from what felt like a high pressure hose on me and the green whilst dropping the temperature to around -10c. The course closure hooter sounded and so we had to abandon back to the club house during which the hail turned to blizzard snow, and although wearing waterproofs it appears they're not snow proof. I was soaked through by the time I pealed off my clothes. To make things worse when I went to leave the club the sun was shining and the course was reopened -not a lot of good when all you're clothes are soaked. Now extremely pissed off!

Friday, February 11, 2005

The Brits

I refer to my post of 5/12/05 'are we a racist nation?' and again I note that not one of the Brits award catagories was won by a black act, even though in some sections there were only one white nomination against 5 black, Eminem winning Int solo artist. Interesting as again the winners are voted for by the public. I thought Jamelia should have won something just for her legs.
However I thought it was the best Brits yet and I posted over a year ago the the Scissor Sisters, Franz Ferdinad, Keane and Muse would be massive and all won multiple awards. I like Gwen Steffani but I wish she'd ditch the chinese girls. Her voice reminds me of Lena Lovitch from the 80's. However time has not been kind to Siouxie Sue (Banshees)she used to be quite a looker, and what is it with Robbie Williams and Joss Stone. does he fancy her or what? - she's only 17 for Christsake Robbie!
My prediction for next year best band - The Athelets with album Tourists.See The Winners for a complete list of the awards.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

You did it!

Well done Ellen, what a fantastic feat, this is a real hero with guts and determination that makes one feel quite humble, politicians please note - now give it a rest Ellen

Monday, February 07, 2005

I told you so

Well done to Wales on Saturday, I predicted this win back in October when they beat South Africa, I also predict that they will win the Triple Crown and the 6 nations tournament if Ireland's performance against Italy yesterday was anything to go by.
Scotland were very unlucky and should have beat the French, as should everyone else(it should be law)but for a dodgy touch line call they would have won. I can't wait until next weekend.
A good start in my golf medal match yesterday and an even better finish, unfortunately the 16 holes in between were absolute crap!

Thursday, February 03, 2005

B for Mutton.

I’m rather concerned about the current trend of advertisers using animated or cartoon animals to advertise various food products. In particular there is an advert for butter which features two cows, one sitting on a branch in a tree. Both of these cows have male voices but are physically equipped with udders, presumably for small children and adults who live in cities to identify these beasts as Cows as opposed to any other kind of animal which can provide the necessary ingredient for butter.
Now the advertisers had two choices here either give the cows horns and bollocks – which would make them bulls and thus non butter producing or change the voices to female, which seems the easier option, however I now believe that most inner city children believe that cows spend their time in the country sitting in trees and talking in deep voices.And those bloody ants that the Post office use drive me nuts.
And can someone explain to me why the Co-Op represent their sales staff as sheep who ride bicycles, are called Colin and speak with Brummie accents?
I’m afraid that goes straight over my head, mind you there are a couple of staff in our local co-op who- No let’s not go there.

Oh Yeeaahh Baby!

Ten out of 11 women who tested a so-called Orgasmatron reported an increase in sexual pleasure. The electronic implant was named after a machine in the 1968 Jane Fonda film Barbarella.
Inventor Dr Stuart Meloy, an American pain consultant, said: "This is the first group research and I think we have demonstrated that it works."
One woman in the trial, Mary Clegg, 52, from Hampshire, said: "It certainly did work for me. When I first used it my leg flew up in the air."
The device, implanted into the buttocks, is said to produce an orgasm at the push of a remote-controlled button.
Patients can pay £9,000 to have two electrodes implanted which are connected by wires to nerves in the spinal cord. With a remote-control they can send tiny pulses of electricity through their spinal nerves, which can lead to orgasm.
Dr Meloy, who is to submit the trial results to the journal Neural Modulation, originally used the device to ease back pain.He became aware of the positive side effects when a patient suggested he teach her husband how to 'do that'.

I wonder if this will be avaiable in the shops by Christmas?

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

The only Gay Beer in the village

Queer Beer launched for gays

A trio of Swiss businessmen have launched a new drink for gay people called Queer Beer. Michael Hutmacher, 32, came up with the idea with two friends and has now founded a company, Lemonhead, to market it.
He said: "My business partner, who is gay, and I were talking about how to corner the homosexual market and came up with the idea for a drink aimed specifically at gay men and women.
"It really was just a crazy idea at first, but we've now come up with a product."
Hutmacher, from Zug. added: "Our beer is a humorous attempt to identify with the gay scene and we hope it will help people to feel relaxed with their sexuality and not hide away."
And he added despite its provocative name the lager wasn't just aimed at homosexuals but also straight people. Moel Volken, from gay rights organisation Pink Cross, said the beer was an excellent idea.
"I'm happy to see that homosexuals are being taken seriously as consumers. I just hope that the beer tastes good," he said.

Personally it's not the taste I'd be worried about, I just hope they don't replace the Green King IPA in my local with it. Swiss beer drinking gays from Zug? sounds iffy to me.

Please note that this is not a homophobic blog, it just appears that way